Monday, 27 February 2012

"Rape Culture Is A Myth."

I was honestly told this by a man earlier.

I was debating with him on tumblr about the basics of feminism, and I say basics as he knows absolutely nothing about feminism at all, and thinks all feminists want to destroy all men and/or be treated like royalty and never lift a finger.

He claims that women don't do hard manual labour jobs because they're too prim and proper and dainty and weak, not because they often get rejected from these jobs by company employers for that very stigma.

He has only ever had experience with radical feminists and believes that the views of the extremist end of the feminist scale are the views of all feminists the world over. He is saying that if you class yourself as a feminist, you should be prepared to be grouped in with these people and he doesn't care if he's making a huge generalisation.

To which I told him saying that is like saying there's no such thing as genres because all music is the same. Or that Hilter represents the entirety of Germany.

Incredibly small minded.

There are many types of feminists. It's madness to think otherwise... I mean there's Marxist Feminists, who believe sexism towards women and the exploitation of women benefits Capitalism. Liberal Feminists, who strive for equality for women, who want all the same rights that men have without the idea being constantly drummed into our heads that women are lesser beings, or that women are here for men's pleasure. (Most feminists will actually fall under this category, but unfortunately be tagged with the Radical Feminists...) Black Feminists, who claim that it is not only difficult being a woman, and that equality for women is hard to find, but it is even harder if you are a black woman, and there is a lot of truth in this... an example of a woman who has probably said it better than I ever could is comedian Wanda Sykes.

"Isn't it funny that the only time your race or gender is called into question is when you aren't a white man?"

And she's right... and she has it possibly the hardest out of most people, she's a black, gay woman. Her life is probably one of the hardest to lead because it's the most open to discrimination. She's a feminist and just like the rest of us, stands for equality.

Yet this man seems to think that all feminists want is death to all men.

He thinks that rape culture does not exist.

How on earth anyone can make such a ridiculous claim is beyond me.

There is so much supporting evidence to show that rape culture is very apparent. To be honest even things that don't seem connected can be. Men leering at women on the streets, sexual harassment in the workplace, even people slapping the arse of a woman walking by, who was in no way asking for it. I have had that happen twice...

Oddly, one time it was a girl.

I have no idea what even happened there... I was in a pencil skirt, and so maybe my child bearing hips and my ghetto booty were accentuated, but that does not excuse what she did... she still came and slapped me on the arse... and I think if it were to happen now, i'd have gone over to her and given her hell, but in the end I walked away.

The same thing happened with a guy once too and it's so demoralising to be seen as a piece of meat.

There was an article I read about this woman who had been smacked on the arse in the street, you can read it here: http://community.feministing.com/2011/04/18/just-a-smack-on-the-ass-a-tale-of-sexual-assault-vengeance-and-nervous-swearing/

This woman is an utter inspiration and I will be taking a leaf out of her book from now on.

But we accept this as though it is fine, many women would just get on with their day... Now i've been slapped on the ass many a time before, but in almost every one those cases (sadly because I am very, very single.) it has been one of my friends messing about, but the friends that do it are ones that know I will be okay with them doing it because we are at that point in a friendship where I will take it as a silly little thing... and most of the time I will try and get them back, because DAMN. MY ARSE YOU BASTARD. THAT STINGS LIKE A BITCH.... Will come into play.

But on the street... a total stranger. Only a giant shit would do that. If I ever see it happen, or have it happen to me, damn well better bet this bitch won't stay quiet.

It is things like that, amongst the constant photoshop nip and tuck, cut and paste, trim and slim behaviours towards women in the media, and the focusing on one part of the female body rather than a woman as a whole, having to be a certain size, height or weight to be attractive... it's all contributing to the objectification of women, and this contributes to the idea that they are objects, not people, which in turn, makes rape seem more acceptable.

It is not.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Poor You.

I sometimes think you'll never come back,
You're gone for days, sometimes even months,
I worry for you, but you seem unphased by it all.
Perhaps one day you'll come home.
And leave outer space for the astronauts,
And the satellites, and that dog they sent up once.
They never had enough money to bring it back you know.
Poor dog.
I hope I have enough money to bring you back.
Poor you.

Part of a poem.

I could not post the rest.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Noise

Silent.
We remain silent.
And silence is what you desire,
Silence, you've often said, is essential to you,
The silence in my mind is so overwhelming, I filled it with sound.
All around me, noise. Sound, music, talking, the human voice, clattering, bang.
I've learnt to detest the noise around me, requiring only the silence nowerdays.
I am at odds with myself, I hate the noise I surround myself with.
And you, with your surroundings so silenced,
Your mind still screams at you.
You remain as ever,
Silent.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Nothing Happens To Me

http://soundcloud.com/hayleyquinnx/nothing-happens-to-me

The first *official* song that i've written that i'm happy to release to the public.

Please take a listen (:

Why 'Banter' is Bullshit.

Banter.

Everyone has heard of the word 'banter'.

Everyone knows someone who regularly describes or excuses their actions by claiming it to be 'banter'.

I can almost guarantee that the people that you - my lovely reader - associate with banter are very much like the people everyone else associates with banter. You all know the type. The perfectly styled and straightened hair, perhaps with a Bieber fringe or a king sized tub of hair gel thrown onto it... the guys whose aftershave you smell far before they approach you, and it gets in your throat and makes you want to vomit as it tickles your gag reflex and fucks with your taste buds. 

Even if that is not the description of the person you are thinking of, everyone knows someone who uses the word banter frequently as a way of allowing his or herself to be able to be a twat to everyone.

Harsh never-ending barrages of insults, or highly inappropriate and sick jokes, constant one-upmanship and a complete lack of regard for the consequences of it all.

After reading an article online, I found that a website called Unilad.com, which is a site for uni guys has been shut down temporarily because they were posting a piece that encouraged the raping of women. 

"If the girl you've taken for a drink… won't spread for your head, think about this mathematical statistic, 85% of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds." 
Now... this is a good example of 'Banter' but the scary part is that there is a huge element of truth in this... 85% of rape cases do go unreported. 85% of women who are raped do not report it. Isn't that terrifying?! The worst part is, it gives guys who could possibly be rapists the chance they need to rape an innocent woman. It's incentive to those more inclined to be rapists to go ahead, as if they have been given permission. Now most good men will know never to rape, and by no means am I accusing all men of being rapists. I'm a liberal feminist, not a radical one. 

No, no, not all men are rapists, but endorsing behaviour like this from banter loving 'lads' is not going to truly show the seriousness of this situation, the seriousness being that 85% of cases are not reported. Let's not forget, that's not just women. That's men too. There are lots of cases where men have raped men, and even women have raped men (though many people find this hard to believe, it's very possible, and does happen, and is almost never reported.) and this kind of 'banter' is doing all it can to ensure such things are seen as normal and not a big deal, and more importantly, not wrong. 

When they were interviewed about it, some of the 'lads' from the website simply said this:

"Rape only happens because lasses can't handle the banter."
This kind of fucking ridiculous empty headed comment is exactly what i'm talking about. This is the kind of person who makes 'Banter'. This is the kind of person who views rape as socially acceptable. This is the person who probably stands a damn good chance of being a rapist. This is the sort of person who has probably raped and not even realised it was. Thinking that she was too drunk to say yes, but she never said no either. 

Rape does not happen because 'lasses' (i hate that word.) can't handle banter. Rape happens because a man forces his dick inside a girl when she does not want him to. Rape happens when a girl says no, and he does it anyway. Rape happens when a girl is passed out or drunk and taken advantage of because she can't stop it. Rape happens because rapists rape. Not because girls can't deal with a rape joke. 

There is a large difference between raping, and talking about it.

If a girl went along with rape banter, would that make her less likely to be raped by one of the guys. No, if anything, that would make her seem more accepting of rape. That would make her even more of a target because she wouldn't report it because she appears to accept it. 

And if she disagrees with rape banter (rightfully so...) then... so  because she has her own opinions, because she finds offensive jokes offensive... suddenly that means she is asking to be raped? What sort of fucked up person would even make such a stupid connection. Let's face the facts here, the unsatisfied, self-loathing piece of shit that said it was probably a stupid cunt anyway. He's definitely single. And if he's got a girlfriend, I hope she likes rape because regardless of her views on it, she's getting one anyway.

Another thing said, after the apology was made was this:

"[This apology is] Proof women don't understand freedom of speech and banter," added Andy.

Well... Andy. This apology proves nothing about that. This apology is proof that rape shouldn't be taken as a joke. This apology does not prove that women want to spoil men's fun. It proves that women- and a whole fucking lot of decent, right minded men- don't want rape to happen, and they don't want it to be acceptable to endorse it.

Banter is a word used, when something offensive is said.

Have you ever heard something horrific being said, followed by "It's only banter." or something along those lines?

Yes, banter is the word you want to use when you want to excuse yourself from being a cunt.

But the fact is, in my mind at least, the word banter basically means "i'm a cunt." so even by using it, you still look like a cunt.

I am lucky enough in my life to know very few 'banterers.' and i hope my life remains that way until banter is bashed into the ground for good. I am glad that I know so few, but that does not unfortunately detract from the people I have had the misfortune to come into contact with who often enjoy the use of the word banter.

I would like to think that after a while, it will die out, it will become simply so offensive that anyone making such ridiculous jokes and points of 'comedy' will simply be ostracised for being a twatty shitface that everyone hates.

I truly respect any man who has been around this much banter and not stooped to it's level of imbecility and ignorant cuntishness.

And that ladies and gentleman, is what I have to say about Banter.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Eating Little and Often or Eating 3 Large Meals A Day?

I am constantly curious as to what is better, 3 large meals a day, or eating little and often. I have heard people say they do either and I couldn't help but google it!

And the results are...

*drumroll*


Little and Often!

According to some scientists what i done read about on the internet somewhere. Humans are natural grazers, we prefer to eat on the go, and large meals sit in our stomachs, hard to digest due to their volume, which is why we can sometimes get bloated for a long time after a meal. (I know I am almost always suffering with being bloated, I don't think i've ever gone a day without feeling bloated after eating... probably a sign I should eat a bit slower and chew my food a bit better - and not like a fucking animal... so that my stomach doesn't have to go into overdrive to cope with the huge chunks of food i'm sending it's way.) But eating little and often keeps us going through the day, and providing we don't snack only on crisps and chocolate, and vary between other things like fruit, pasta, things with carbs and vitamins in them (smoothies and milkshakes are very good snacks, as they fill you up more than you think! Try drinking a whole smoothie or milkshake then eating a meal after... you'll never finish... if you do... well damn, well done to you, your stomach is more accomplished than mine.) then we can function much better. Due to our 21st century laziness/busyness, we have little time to prepare food, and if we are lucky enough to have parents who make us dinner, we often can't always wait and gorge on other things whilst waiting, and then only eat half the dinner... essentially a snack portion. At least I do that. But people who eat this way have been shown to apparently have healthier diets than those that don't!

So there you have it! Little and Often is the way forward!